


Nothing to do with me

by Temaris



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, M/M, Unrequited Love, mmom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-03
Updated: 2009-05-03
Packaged: 2017-10-15 04:36:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Temaris/pseuds/Temaris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Displaced anger often expresses itself in inappropriate ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing to do with me

**Author's Note:**

> Set just after Season 1 episode: Somebody's Watching. Betad by the perspicacious moonlettuce. This week's theme: denial! Written for MMoM, 3rd May 2009.

There's a moment, somewhere in the mess of arrest and heartbroken actress and furious psycho-BFF, when you catch the two of them looking at each other with a kind of amazement. You're feeling pretty amazed too.

You didn't know he had it in him. That's why Hotch assigned him to her: safe as houses, unthreatening, good old Spencer. If you'd ever thought about it you'd assumed that he was too nerdy, too academic, too ivory tower -- too Spencer -- to have ever made a move on a starlet. (But you never thought about it. Because you don't think about that kind of thing; that's not appropriate use of the skills to hand; no profiling the team.)

And then there you are, seeing him kissing a girl in her swimming pool. Her fucking swimming pool in her cute little condo, and for a moment, there's a few of them this evening, you're all about blinding fury. It's easier to be angry than to let yourself remember those awful, long minutes when you weren't sure he was going to be okay. He's okay. He's always okay. He's a good agent. He just shouldn't have been kissing that damn girl.

That's why you're angry. That's why your hand is so rough on your cock. That's why you're breathing in short gasps, and your whole body is seized up with tension. You're still angry. Angry that he nearly got caught, nearly screwed up an investigation for a pretty face and long blonde hair. Angry that he kissed her, in publicnear as dammit. Angry that he nearly got killed.

You stop, eyes closed. You know damn well why you're angry. And all of those are reasons, but they're not the core of it, not the thing that burns and bites and won't let go.

You don't move, hand wrapped around your dick, standing in the shower, water pounding down, and you can't help but think of him soaking wet. All that hair plastered down, throwing the high cheekbones and wide, intelligent eyes into sharp relief, beautiful and riveting. You can't lose the image. You don't want to.

And your hand starts to move again. You don't really mean to. He's a co-worker.

Not that stopped him before. He's never looked at a man that way, and that's another thing that makes you angry, that keeps these moments to a painful, wrung out minimum.

You shiver a little, though the water is hot. You don't want to think of him with JJ; but you're not surprised it didn't last. You don't think about how unsurprised you were; how relieved. How angry you are that Lila could have him with a crook of that pretty little pinkie, and you never could.

Your hand moves faster, and you come, breathing hard. The water keeps on pouring down, lukewarm now, and the tiles are cool under your forehead. Any traces are washed away, and you're left looking at nothing.


End file.
